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Read the Poem
From here, they're cereal packet figurines -
red against an outfield of green,
taking guard at the crease, watched by Surrey's fielders.
Watched, too, by a man in a tee (Bob, the Unstoppable Sex Machine):
he swears there'll be rain
(It's Biblical, see. The flood come on a Bank Holiday.)
As the game gets underway,
a man with a Glamorgan bag,
Glamorgan
badge,
Glamorgan
hat
keeps score with a Glamorgan pen,
checks stats in the Cricketer's Who's Who, Playfair and Wisden.
He's the only one who waits 'til the break between innings to
eat -
the rest finish scotcheggs sausagerolls kitkats crisps
before the first over's over.
He just records the wickets to fall - 12 for 1
20 for 2 59 for 5….
Groans from the three wizened men in the front row,
then a backs-against-the-wall recovery
Maynard 93 (Matthew is our 'ero) and Croft 45 (na naa
na na).
Surrey's target's 189
but first there's the break and Kwik Cricket games
for kids and dogs and Bob
and autographs to be got by the serious scorer.
Back in seats to see Surrey bat -
the Unstoppable Sex Machine's t-shirt's off
(Pull the curtains, butt, it's getting hot),
suncream matted up in the hair on his back and shoulders.
56 for none 73 84
A wizened man seeks some distraction
(99's! Phworr! I could go for one of them!)
He's on his feet, winces with stiffness, limps to Mr Whippy
as the runs keep coming, keep coming.
Then suddenly Croft from the Taff End strikes
three times in one over.
Ice creams drip, melt, fall off splatt,
the serious scorer's pencil snaps,
Bob's on his feet, arms aloft,
then loping off to the food kiosk
(It's a triple pasty day, this!)
Still, though, Surrey rally
123 144 156
Bob's burping Bread Of Heaven,
singing Glammy, Glammy, Glammy, Glammy, Glam-organ
but Surrey keep creeping closer.
Twelve needed off the final over
8 6 3 off the
last ball -
and he's bowled!
The old wizened men give gummy grins
We won it. We bloody won it.
This makes up for all the heartache, don't it.
Nodding of sunburnt heads.
You coming next Saturday then?
Dunno.
Gotta ask the Ayatollah tonight.
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